How to Date Yourself this Summer (And Other Perks of Being Single During a Pandemic)

Yes, I know. Believe me, I hear you. Your girls’ trip was cancelled, you’re running out of shows to binge on Netflix, and you can no longer fantasize about meeting someone in the produce aisle at the local Fresh Market because now everyone is antisocial and masked. I’m with you, girl! You don’t want to sit around all summer and hope that by some miracle, you’ll actually have a decent summer. If you live in the Northeast like me, you want to get out and enjoy the sunshine before it goes into hibernation mode for another 10 months. Here’s the tough reality: You haven’t seen your friends or even your family in months, your chances of finding a summer fling are about as good as finding a shelf full of toilet paper, and you’re starting to feel hopeless.

My friends, this is the perfect summer to DATE YOURSELF! Yes, you heard that right. Date yourself! Use this time to discover new interests, cultivate old interests, and rediscover what makes you happy. When we give ourselves time to rediscover what brings us joy, we will be ready to enter into a relationship when the right one comes along. This is because we will have built the life we envision for ourselves, so we will recognize Mr. or Miss Right when they walk into that life. Give yourself all of those things that you want a partner to give to you, and take yourself to those places that you want him to take you. Plan a movie night with popcorn and even splurge on one of the new Prime releases. Check out a new park. Drive on back roads without GPS. Ladies, it’s time to take out your grandmother’s recipe book and finally make those ginette cookies.

We can choose to look at this summer as a real bummer because we are quarantined with our friends Netflix, Ben, and Jerry, or we can choose to view it as an opportunity to grow our confidence and independence. And don’t forget… men are attracted to women who know what they want and have their own lives and interests. Here are some ideas to spice up your summer and make you forget that you don’t have a quarantine snuggle buddy.

Plan a fancy dinner. Chances are, you haven’t had an excuse to wear that black dress hanging in your closet for the past two months. Your dress-up occasions were all cancelled, and wearing a pair of jeans is the new “dress-up.” Wake up early on a Saturday morning and stroll your local farmer’s market. Don’t go with a shopping list; instead, browse the vegetable, cheese, and homemade pasta stands and pick up foods that inspire you. While you’re there, pick up some fresh flowers for your kitchen table. Then, download an app that will give you a recipe based on foods you already have. I use Cookpad and I like it, but there are many others out there. Tasty has a great app, as well. Put on that black dress, light some candles, and serve yourself on your finest china. Dinner for one? Yes, please! Mangia!

Get in touch with nature. When we spend time in nature, our cortisol levels decease, leading to lower blood pressure, less anxiety, and overall increase in happiness. Go on a hike. Take yourself on a picnic. Google “most beautiful parks” or “best trails with a view” in your area and then pick a place you’ve never been. Pack a lunch and eat on a rock or picnic table (bring your sanitizing wipes!) and take in the view. If there is a lake nearby, take a dip in the lake and practice the art of mindfulness by getting in touch with all of your senses- the coolness of the water, the sound of the wind, the heat of the sun. Meditation and mindfulness also decrease cortisol levels. You’ll leave feeling refreshed and renewed.

Go to a drive-in movie. Remember that scene in Grease where John Travolta gets stranded at the drive-in? Well when you go alone, you don’t have to worry about that! I grew up going to the drive-in. We used to lay in the back of the car with the seats down and loads of pillows and blankets. Going as an adult always invokes those childhood feelings of awe and excitement as the movie starts to play on the big screen and I dig into a hot dog from the concession stand. Get in touch with your childhood and take yourself to the movies. Pack popcorn, movie theater snacks, and extra blankets. Then, sit back, relax, and enjoy the magic that only the movies can bring.

Arrange a virtual scavenger hunt with friends and family. Can’t see your friends and family this summer? Here’s a fun way to bring everyone together and create a summer you won’t forget. Put together a list of clues and challenges, and then create a Messenger group where each person posts photos of their completed challenge. Give a time limit on completing the challenges (i.e. 1 week, 1 day, 1 month, etc.) Depending on your group size, you can either group people into teams or each person can compete by themselves. The person or group with the most completed challenges by the end wins a prize. The prize could be a dinner delivery, lawn mowing, or even money. Your family and friends will have such a great time that this will soon become an annual summer tradition.

Buy yourself something expensive. You make your own money and you don’t need anyone’s permission to spend it. Splurge, girl! A few years ago, I bought myself a Tiffany necklace after a break-up, and it was the most rewarding purchase I have made in the past 5 years. This summer, I am splurging on a fire pit table. I figure that if I’m spending the whole summer at home, I might as well invest in creating an outdoor oasis on my deck. “Feet up” after a busy work day just got so much more relaxing.

Create a vision board. Chances are, you have some extra time on your hands. Use this time to envision where you see your life in the next few years. Are you an aspiring song writer? Is there a place you’ve always wanted to go but have never been? Do you hope to have a different job or a job promotion next year? Collect old magazines and cut out pictures and words that illustrate your vision, then paste them all on a piece of paper. Hang your vision board on your refrigerator so you see it every day, because science concludes that seeing something every day makes us more likely to achieve it. Now every time you open your refrigerator to grab a drink, you will be reminded of the plans you have for yourself.

Read a book. This one seems simple, but when was the last time you read a book? The whole book? If you’re like me, you have a shelf full of books that are great at collecting dust but have never been opened. I used to love to read books, and I still do, but lately, I’ve been prioritizing everything else above reading. While my other priorities are equally important, they aren’t as relaxing as sitting outside and getting lost in a good story. The other day, I opened a book while taking a bubble bath and it was quite possibly the most relaxed I’ve been in months. Head on over to that dust-collecting shelf, pick up a good book, and give yourself the gift of time to actually finish it. Relaxation is so important for both our physical and mental health.

Challenge yourself. Do something physical like hiking a mountain, taking a 10-mile walk, running a 5K, or paddle boarding. Pick something you’ve always wanted to try but have never had the guts to do it. Grab a few of your friends and then head out to conquer your fears and self-doubt. As a former teacher who now leads corporate leadership programs, I am always telling my trainees that we don’t grow in our comfort zones. We must be willing to get really uncomfortable in order to grow. Oh, and don’t forget to celebrate your success when you finish. 🙂

This summer, take time to grow, relax, and nourish your soul. Get back to the you that you once were, or build the you that you have always wanted to be. Wonder. Reminisce. Believe in the magic of the simple pleasures around you, and remember what it’s like to see the world through the awe-filled eyes of a child once again.

Wishing you the best summer of your life!

-C