Let’s talk about sex, baby.

Ladies…let’s talk about sex. Have you ever felt truly confident standing naked in front of a man? Have you ever found yourself turning off the lights before making love because you didn’t want your partner to see your stomach rolls? Have you ever felt tempted to go for a Brazilian wax? So much of our womanly self-esteem and self-worth comes from three little letters: S-E-X.

We pay thousands of dollars and put ourselves through pure torture just to get ready for sex. We wax, shave, and pluck. Then there are the extra sit-ups, the carefully picked out lingerie, and the pedicure… Why do we go through so much trouble when most men don’t even care about any of the above? I don’t know about you, but it used to take me a while to expose my make-up free face to a man. I felt like Mrs. Maisel when she sets her alarm to wake up well before her husband so she can apply make up and curl her hair, giving him the illusion that she rolls out of bed this way. Ok, I’m not that bad at all. I roll out of bed with messy hair and mismatched pajamas, usually with one eye open and the other still closed, but I have been known to brush my teeth in the middle of the night so my breath doesn’t smell, and I’ve sometimes applied a little under eye concealer when I wake up early to use the bathroom. Why do I do this, and why might you spend $400 on lingerie? Because society taught us that our bodies aren’t good enough the way they are.

Want to know how to have the best sex of your life? Be happy. That’s it! Just be happy with who you are and how you are spending your time. Do all of the things that fill you up with joy because the happier you are, the more confident you will be in your relationship. Focus on YOU, not him, and if a Brazilian wax makes you feel confident, then get it! But if you’re like me and the thought of spreading your legs and bracing for thirty minutes of pure torture gives you anxiety for days, then don’t get one! Maybe you found a few sexy panties on clearance but don’t have a partner to see them? Buy them and wear them anyway! Don’t feel like shaving today? Then don’t! Book a trip to Chicago to see the green river on St. Patrick’s Day. Hike a waterfall. Try taking a circus arts class. Buy yourself fresh flowers. Take a long walk with a friend on a beautiful day. Organize your shoes, and clean your kitchen cabinets. Do all of the things that make you feel good.

And next time you find yourself on the brink of an intimate moment with your partner, don’t you dare reach for that light switch. Keep the light on and let him see you and appreciate your full beauty.

Wishing you the most happiness (and the best sex life),

-C