Ms. Independent, I have spent 34 of my 35 years single on Valentine’s Day, with the exception of last year. So if anyone is an expert on how to and how not to spend that lovey dovey, chocolate covered strawberry and red heart nauseating holiday, it’s me.
So, you’re single on Valentine’s Day. So what?! If you think that you need to stay in bed all day and skip right to February 15th, then you need to read my post titled “Love, Actually, is All Around.” Believe me when I say that I hate Valentine’s Day just as much as you do, and that I have tried anything and everything to make it disappear. In college, I even renamed the holiday “Love Everybody Day” and convinced my roommates to celebrate Love Everybody Day instead of Valentine’s Day. I have been secretly (ok, maybe not so secretly) dreading Valentine’s Day this year, remembering how special it was last year and how my then-boyfriend laid little red hearts all around his apartment as a surprise to me. Like you, I was hoping to enter a deep, deep sleep beginning the evening of February 13th and ending the morning of February 15th. But also like you, I eventually realized that this is silly and that I deserve to celebrate love on this day, because self-love and the love of family and friends is in every way more important than romantic love.
Here’s what NOT to do on Valentine’s Day:
- Go on social media. Just do yourself a favor and DO NOT check your Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, or whatever other social media channels you might use.
- Scroll through your phone and stare at pictures of you and your ex, and the flowers he gave you last year. You should honestly delete these.
- Do nothing. If you do nothing, you will end up home alone crying.
- Sit home with a romantic movie and your friends Ben and Jerry. Please don’t stay home alone. Go out and do something fun!
- Go out to eat alone. This is not the evening to conquer the “Table for one, please” phobia.
Ladies, this is not the time to throw yourself a pity party. There are 364 other days (this year, 365) in the year to do that, and today is not the day! Here are some empowering, fun ways to spend Valentine’s Day:
- Invite all of your single girlfriends over for a singles-only dinner party, and then toast to your independence. Give each one of them a chocolate rose.
- Treat yourself to a new hairdo, a facial, or a massage. Even better…book a couple’s massage with your best friend and then both of you can enjoy the discounted rate.
- Get the hell out of town. That’s right, leave! Go visit one of your friends in another state (or country!) and make fun plans together.
- Go to a comedy show.
- Find a single friend and make reservations at that French restaurant that your ex would never take you to.
- Go on a shopping spree.
- Buy yourself flowers, chocolate from your favorite specialty candy shop, and your favorite wine.
- Buy yourself an expensive piece of jewelry.
- Babysit your nieces and nephews while your siblings go out for date night. Host a full-blown sleepover party with pajamas, cookie decorating, and a movie.
- Volunteer at a homeless shelter and serve dinner that evening. Seeing how appreciative people are for your help will make you feel much better.
- Go to an arcade and challenge a stranger to a game of skee ball.
- Try that thing you’ve always wanted to try.
Ms. Independent, don’t hide on Valentine’s Day. Be courageous and be bold. Be kind to yourself and celebrate how much you love yourself. Remember, you, of all people, deserve so much love for all that you’ve been asked to shoulder. Allow yourself to feel loved and cherished on this day that is meant to celebrate love.
So how am I spending Valentine’s Day? Well, I’ve had a few different offers, one of which was from a married friend who is hosting a party (with her husband) for all of their single lady friends. Seriously, how nice is that?! Another friend offered for me to visit her in Canada, where she promised me that the live music and dancing in the Irish pub down the street would eradicate any thoughts I had of my ex. I would have loved to escape to Canada for the long weekend, but the timing didn’t work out, so I opted to spend the evening with another single friend, stuffing our faces with carbs at a new restaurant that we’ve been wanting to try, then laughing until our stomachs hurt at a comedy show. And if there is time, we are going to visit a travel agent to begin planning our trip to Africa. Yes, you read that right. We are going to Africa. (More to come on that!)
Ms. Independent, it takes courage to celebrate Valentine’s Day after having your heart broken into a million pieces. But if there is one thing that I know for sure, it’s that staying home on your couch and wallowing in your misery is only going to make you feel worse, and after all you’ve been through, you deserve to feel loved on Valentine’s Day. Give yourself the love you deserve and try something you’ve always wanted to try. Give yourself something to look forward to. So get up off your couch right now, go put on your favorite outfit, spruce up that make up, and then curl or straighten your hair. When we look good, we feel good. And girl, you deserve to feel GREAT tonight!
How will you be spending your Valentine’s Day? Share your ideas in the comments below!
With love, C.
The C-Word 